My belonging - enkun puhe perjantaiksi

“Belonging takes time to be nurtured, to grow” –Dean Stewart

For me belonging is about acceptance, happiness in secure relationship. Concepts that illustrate the way in which one connects with others include shared experience and how belonging occurs over time.

Can I belong to Australia? The question I was thinking seven months ago. If I can, how could I do it? Before the exchange year belonging or not-belonging was nothing to worry about for me. I had been living with the same family, in the same home and having the same friends. I had grown up to belong to my home environment through years of shared experience.

On 19th July my first host father picked me up from Sydney Airport. I was still thinking in Finnish as my mind and heart were still back at home. Coming to a different country for nearly one year is like starting a new life. Obviously, I didn’t feel I would belong here. I didn’t know the area, the people, the culture, not even the two adults who I was supposed to treat as my parents. How was I meant to belong in an unstable environment, where my “new” family changed every few months?

At least I had my own sense of identity, and I know who I am. As soon as I started school I became part of something. My host family grew to be more familiar and I felt more comfortable. That’s what belonging is about, isn’t it? Feeling comfortable and being a part of something.

This is a different culture and you are different people in relation to my Finnish friends. You live your own life and do your own things, you don’t have to change because of me. As I’m the new one, I can’t make the rules. Through my experience I have learnt that to belong in certain environments you first need to learn the rules by which it functions. At the beginning of the year I was in the situation to choose whether I wanted to belong or not. I chose the first option, but that’s not all. I can’t belong just by saying “I belong here”.

In fact the difference between my past and present is so diverse that for a long time I felt unsecure, weak and alone. So what was different? First thing of course: the language. Even though I already spoke some English before I came here it’s absolutely exhausting to live with it and to translate it 24/7. Left-handed traffic, the opposite, confusing as anything. Small talk, humour, school system, values in every-day life etc. Definitely not Finland.

As in poetry, a house is a metaphor for life. So I started to build a new house. Not only the house but the foundation as well. I tried to build it in an Australian way as I wanted to belong here, not to be a tourist for a whole year. By changing myself, accepting the differences and putting a lot of effort in I was able to form relationships which lead to shared experiences. This heightened my sense of belonging as it developed over time.

A big thank you to everyone here for allowing me to belong, because after seven months I feel I do.